What am I doing ?

from The street sitting LP by Hurty eldeen

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lyrics

Soft blue pyjama, worn for three days straight
There are stains of everything that I hate
Mom was next to my bed with her soft smile
On her sad face I said

What am I doing ?
What am i doing ? please...

And sometimes it feels like
My life is falling apart
But it's just a feeling, doesn't feel right
I put the beast to sleep but it still bites
And I feel like this shit means nothing
Like this shit is just not meant for me
I tried to come back, I tried to change
But it will never change what I made

What am I doing ?
What am i doing ? please...

We don't know felix, just deal with it
Continue making songs for a living
One day it'll be painless, you'll forget it
Don't try suicide yeah, you'll regret it
Time passes and I'm running late
There are thoughts of everything I hate
I'm thirsty, I'm hungry and I'm lonely
If only the meds could have worked, yeah, if only
And it's like when mom told me it would be okay
She said that while crying in her bed
Or when my classmate commited suicide
But she was everyday keeping the same smile
I'll be alone forever
And this woman keeps talking
I don't know why I'm still listening
And she smokes, she cries, over those sickening beats while saying

What are we becoming ?
What are we becoming ?

credits

from The street sitting LP, released February 27, 2019

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